Hackers 3 - Dirtie ShitDown

dirtie_h4x0r: do you know what is Cybernetic Police?
muaddib: nop. what's that?
dirtie_h4x0r: i dunno. but they are after me.
muaddib: hauauehuaehuahueahae
muaddib: but if you dont know what they are, how do you know they are after you?
dirtie_h4x0r: my ISP called me. he said the cyber police is after me. because I hacked a site.
muaddib: but did you actually hacked into that site?
dirtie_h4x0r: yes. is it a crime?
muaddib: guess no >:) but how did they know it was you?
dirtie_h4x0r: they have a router, dude.

hmmm... how am I supposed to hack into somewhere without passing thru a router? I'm tired of hacking into my localhost... perhaps another machines in my lan? hauheauheauhaue

muaddib: and how did they know it was you?
dirtie_h4x0r: i did not encrypt my IP addr.

Ahhh. He didnt encrypt his IP. that explains a lot. how would a encrypted IP look like in a router log? or would the router think it is a IPv6? hehe

muaddib: but how would you encrypt your IP?
dirtie_h4x0r: i've got some cryptographic technics. but i wont tell ya now. gotta go to the restroom.

Ahhhhh. so you hack into NASA but cannot tell us how because you are too busy shiting around... nice strategy... :)

Dirtie the Exorcist and the Evil Inetd... -- Part 3 - the Curse of port 666

As an educational experiment to teach Dirtie more about inetd, and to show him once for all that inetd is NOT related to internet connections, I took a chance when he left his machine logged in as root and went for lunch.

I just made a few changes on his /etc/inetd.conf...
666 stream tcp nowait root /bin/sh -c "echo 'ASSHOLE' | wall"
667 stream tcp nowait root killall -9 bash
999 stream tcp nowait root reboot
# killall -HUP inetd

every 30 seconds you could hear a "bip" from his machine... and also a broadcast messa: "The system if going down NOW"

My buddies and me even made a list, to specify who could reboot dirtie's machine at what time.


hmmm... You think he got the message about NOT using inetd?

Dirtie the Exorcist and the Evil Inetd... -- Part 2

dirtie: hey, this inetd daemon is pretty cool. It gave access to internet stuff.
me: ???
dirtie: take a look at the man page, dude. it says "Internet Super Server"
me: come again...?
dirtie: it says: inetd maps internet connections to proccess on the local machine. and it means ALL my internet stuff goes thru inetd.
me: really? ha ha ha (evil laugh)

Dirtie the Exorcist and the Evil Inetd...

dirtie: hey, you were trying to fool me. That inetd thing was controlling my Internet connection. It controls how fast they are.
me: shut the fsck up.
dirtie: It's true! I managed to install my modem at home, and my internet got pretty fast when I started inetd.
me: you crazy, know that?
dirtie: it does control! I just killed inetd and my internet connection hanged.


hmmm... what would he think about portmap? In his little, sick mind, he may think portmap maps the local ports in the local machine to internet ports, eh? So you can open connections thru the internet...


Gosh. Please forgive my sins. I promise I wont do it again. pleasepleaseplease

Dirtie and his brand new monitor...

dirtie: that samsung monitor at the lab is broken...
kripton: ask Marcio to take a look at it... might be just a Fuse...
dirtie: but it does go on, just there is no image... I think it's a problem on that Chaotic Ray Tube...
kripton: "Chaotic" Ray?

guess dirtie is quite impressed by that Theory of Chaos, or he's reading too much Apocalipse books...

Dirtie and his Amazing knowledge of SMTP

Dirtie taking care of Hosting services...

customer: Hi. I'd like to change my MX settings.
dirtie: ok, what's the new IP
customer: 200.200.200.200
dirtie: erm, I cant open connections to port 110 on that host. if I change your MX settings, you wont be able to receive any mail 'cause port 110 is closed.
customer: really? Ok, I'll fix that.

Hmmm. Does he know the difference betwenn SMTP/POP3? or perhaps he thinks SMTP/POP3/IMAP4/UDP/TCP and stuff are all the same? :P

Dirtie's family is spreading. Like cockroachs and rats. They are everywhere. What would that mean? The beginning of the Age of Chaos? Will our world be taken over by Dirties? The end of the world as we know it? Extinction of all inteligent life forms?

dirtie: some guys on the college told me that a 2Mvps link is better than our link.
me: 2M WHAT?
dirtie: 2M vps.
me: please, dont tell me you are trying to say 2Mbps
dirtie: may be... are bps links faster than vps ones?

+_+